So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize