I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
