they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
