I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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