I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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