Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
