gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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