just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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