you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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