you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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