Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
