Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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