I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize