Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
