Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
