I showed him my bush... on skype.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
