If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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