I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
