just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
