I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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