sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
