another moral hangover. fuck.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
