I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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