Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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