he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
