you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize