my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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