Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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