Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
