Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
