GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize