i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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