I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're facebook friends in real life
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
