I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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