No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
