my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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