Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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