found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
