It's Friday. Sex?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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