Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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