butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
