After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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