well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
His nipple licking is glorious
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