I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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