Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
