Define "chronic" masturbator.
no, he came in my armpit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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