Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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