We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
