She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
