fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
