Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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