I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
