i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
