why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Terrible idea I love it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
