We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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